Revenge can be so sweet
by Eme
Summary: Found on a disk written five years ago this little snippet is a prime example of hilarity and a newbies first attempt at fanfiction. Not to be taken too seriously many "fan fic no no's" abound. Beware Shampoo bashing, RanmaxAkane, and a divine Mary Sue!


**_Revenge is oh so sweet....._**

**11/30/04** : _I found this interesting piece of stashed on a very old disk when cleaning out my stuff from home over the holidays. And as it happens to be the only piece of pure fanfiction I ever completed I decided to post it even though I did write it some five years ago and it really is a sad funny little newbie fanfic. I mean honestly I can do so much better but what the hell. It's fluff and author vengeance and I still think it's pretty amusing lol. And as a side note I don't hate Shampoo as mush anymore. (as much I still dislike her lol) _Newbie Fic!!

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This is what happens when you watch So much Ranma you become avid fan of the The Ranma, Akane relationship, and its summer vacation and you have nothing better to do but vent your animosity towards certain cast members who is ruining the Ranma and Akane relationship.

Grinz wickedly

Enjoy!

WARNING!!!

If you are a Shampoo fan I suggest you leave! I am a Shampoo hater as this fic will surely show. If you do read this and Find it offensive and decide "I'm going to flame this chick", then just remember YOU started it. Gives a wicked look

Please keep in mind I am but a poor lowly teenager trying to vent her anger on the evil characters of Ranma 1/2. Who can barely scrap up enough money to get the next vol. of Ranma 1/2 and who's entire life savings consents of lowly Ranma comic books. I do not even dream ( ok I dream of it ..) that I am the owner of Ranma 1/2. And I hold no claim to any of Rumiko Takahashi wonderful characters. And Viz I give full credit to giving us lowly American's Ranma. So please don't sue me. makes cute puppy dog eyes with her gorgeous emerald eyes ( But I DO own the character Avalon Du Barback I made her up she is mine. Like a self insertion)

I'd like to thank my best friend Stephie8 for her wonderful support as a friend and writer. And I suggest you read her wonderful works, unfortunately they are X-files fics. But if you like that sorta thing or are just a hopeless romantic read 'em!

Action or sound

" " Speaking

' ' Thoughts

Anything else Me the author the great omnipotent who is writing this fanfic.

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A dark room the only thing visible is two peering emerald eyes from darkness.

BANG!

The door swings open revealing the extremely slutty purple haired bimbo Shampoo. (hehehe I'm bad)

"Nihoa! Arien Shampoo here like you say. Shampoo SO Happy!" Shampoo looks around room.

"Arien?..." The door behind her swings shut. Shampoo turns around on full guard now.

"Who There?" No noise not a sound only darkness. A spotlight is put on Shampoo Shampoo has taken out those two ridiculous balls on sticks, which don't even do much weapon, wise.

" Hey! Bonbori great Amazon weapon! Who you to insult Shampoo such?!" The ever-present emerald eyes emerge from the darkness. Revealing a breath taking beautiful woman. With eyes of emerald stone, long layered hair of chestnut that seems to have been kissed by the sun. She stands tall wearing knee high metal boots, with matching wrist guards. Her attire consents of a light green Chinese shirt strategically cut to show her washboard stomach. A pair of gray slacks completes the ensemble.

"Uhhhh...." Sweatdrops, ' Could author take up more space to introduce her self?'

(OH Shut up! You badly dressed slut!) Shampoo stands still in shock.

"How you know what Shampoo think?"

"I'm the author you lame brain, I know what everybody thinks." The emerald warrioress begins to circle Shampoo like a wolf it's prey.

"What Author lady want with Shampoo?!"

A smirk spread across the warrioress face.

"I simply want you to get the facts straight that's all..."

"What facts those?"

"That Ranma doesn't love you.," She was rudely cut off by Shampoo attacking her.

"Hiya! You want Ranma too! You no have My Arien!" She threw those useless balls at the smirking girl. With swift movements the girl shattered the stupid things with two daggers.

"Hi..ya.."

"Now" The girls eyes grew hard and fierce " Sit down!" A chair appeared behind the flabbergasted Shampoo forcing her to sit.

"Who are you?" The purple hair bimbo inquirers boldly. The emerald eyed girl wipes out a dagger and has it to Shampoo's neck so fast it makes her odangos spin.

"Let's get a couple things straight ok?" Shampoo nodds meekly trying to hide the fear in her eyes.

"First, I ask the questions. You " She pushed the dagger a little closer to Shampoo's skin

"Answer, and I suggest you answer truthfully. ne?" Shampoo makes a pathetic squeak of a

"Hai…"

"Good" The girl removes the dagger and begins circling the pitiful Amazon, spinning the dagger strategically on her finger.

" So...Shampoo when did you come to Nermia?" Shampoo thought that a rather odd question to ask but answered anyway.

" Year ago Shampoo come... Why? "

The girl threw a dagger dangerously close to Shampoo's foot, and had another one on her finger

just as quickly.

"Tisk, tisk I thought we agreed I ask the questions?." Shampoo gulped.

"Hai"

"Now, WHY did you abandon your lovely Amazon village? Where you an outcast? " Shampoo totally missed the mocking tone in the girl's voice.

"No! Shampoo no Outcast. Is greatest Amazon Warrioress of her Generation! " The girl looked at her sharply.

"The Greatest Amazon of your generation ne? " ( Doesn't say much for your generation...) Shampoo looked around wide-eyed for where the voice had come from, and how the girl could throw her voice like that.

"Then why leave? " The girl's eye's where hard and shone with a mischievous intent.

"Cause...was beaten by Arien and Amazon law say.."

"I know what your Amazon law says. But wasn't your first mission to kill the one Ranma Soatome?"

Shampoo resented the girl's intelligent manor. ' How she know Amazon law? '

"Just answer the question" The girl ask frustrated.

"Hai, Shampoo come to kill Ranma, but that before-"

"Before you found out he was I boy I know, I know..." Shampoo just looked at the girl ' how she know what happen? Shampoo never see her before?'

"Correct me if I'm wrong but by Amazon code Women are far superior to men right?" Shampoo nodded wondering what the girl was getting at.

"And yet....You'd pretty much doing anything Ranma asked of you? You've groveled and cooked, seduced in short you've done nothing but shown him how superior HE is. ne?" Shampoo was furious how dare she make such accusation!

"If you don't believe me lets look at the evidence..." A larger emerald ball appeared in front of Shampoo. Pictures of Shampoo's constant glomping and looking sexy in front of Ranma appeared through the ball like a movie screen. Shampoo saying how strong Ranma was, and begging him to date her or rescue her. Shampoo stared shocked at what she'd seen.

"Tisk, tisk, tisk" the girl made a hand motion and the ball zoomed to her side. "Some Amazon.Groveling at the feet of a man you dishonor your tribe."

This was too much for the purple haired girl.

"Shampoo no dishonor tribe! All Shampoo do is for honor of tribe! Shampoo have best husband ever! He learn our ways. Give Shampoo lots of strong daughters! Tribe say Shampoo must work to hold on to one who is rightfully hers!" The emerald-eyed girl stared down at the girl with a look of pure anger, and disgust.

"Rightfully yours? How did you come to that conclusion?" she growled

"Airen beat Shampoo, Arien Shampoo's." She said matter of factly.

"What of your Amazon law saying to respect all other women and their property?"

"Nani?" Shampoo looked bewilderly 'what that have to do if Ranma and Shampoo?'

"Well, does not your tribe practice that law?"

" h...ai" She said uncertainly.

"Then why try to steal something already in the possession of another woman?"

Shampoo looked on confusing written all over her despiteful face.

"Ranma's mother had already promised Ranma to Akane. Making him hers. Did you not know this or " her voice grew dark "Did you choose to purposely break your laws you hold so dear?"

Shampoo gaped like a fish out of water.

"Ranma love Shampoo, not violent girl! That why Shampoo can break that law! Love conquers all." Her words were fierce she thought she had stumped the arrogant girl in front of her.

"Love? Ranma loves you? Since when? " Her eyes sparked her words rang harshly throughout the room.

"From what I've seen Ranma loves Akane..-"

"No! how could he, she violent and no can cook is not as attractive as Shampoo!"

"Oh, but he does, " she swung the ball back into Shampoo's view "You've just ignored the signs. It was started before you even showed up..."

The crystal ball showed the day of the skating match, Ranma staring daggers at Mikado

" Akane is MY fiancé! You touch her and I'll kill you!"

The scene changes to when Shampoo had taken Akane's memory of Ranma

"Akane I'll make you remember me.." Again the scene changes to Ranma in the cat fist as he kisses Akane. More and more tender moments fly by. The time in Nekolong China

"There's no way your going to make Akane a bride....Akane is my fiancé!" The

jealousy over P-chan and every other guy daring to like Akane flew by in plain view. The time on the hidden island with Toma.

"No one's gonna take her from me! Akane is mine! And she's engaged to me!"

Ranma's words rang throughout the dark room. When Shinnosuke was with Akane

"..But I know something you dont..Akane is Mine!" Pictures of him rescuing Akane flew by. The worry written across his face when ever he thought she was in trouble. The times she hugged him and the joy and contentment on his face. That goofy gagged look whenever she smiled.

Then the Saffron incident. She saw the devastation on his face the utter lost ness in his eyes that was almost suicidal. His please filled the room for her not to leave him. Then something else it was his voice but he wasn't saying it, it was his thoughts.

"I never got to tell you.....I love you!"

She saw the shock and then utter joy and relief when Akane awoke. The look of a

lost lover being reunited with his other half. The voices faded as did the pictures leaving

the slutty Amazon with nothing but the truth. She held her head in shame.

"Love conquers all... I'll say they certainly have conquered a lot-"

"Shut up you! What you want from Shampoo?! So she wrong?! Bah so what " She held her head high

"Shampoo knew already what you show her, she also know Ranma to stubborn to admit what he really feel! And to insure what Violent girl think. She same way. They never tell and Shampoo know what strings to pull to keep them apart! Shampoo will have her husband even if must kill girl doing so."

The dagger was to her neck again pressing hard against her skin threatening to cut.

"Yes…You're not as stupid as you look, but you are as evil. But you WILL stop your meddling. I knowwhy you chase Ranma. You're afraid no one will beat you and you'll be alone. You're proud you want to be the perfect Amazon but in your quest you've failed miserably. I suggest you stop and return to China to train, your battle skills have weakened since coming here. And you have nothing to gain."

Shampoo looked defiant

"Shampoo no is weak! Besides Shampoo go back with out Arien be outcasted. Shampoo no outcast."

"You will go back" she growled deep and the dagger slit her skin a single drop of red blood, trickled down her neck. "I've already seen to explaining your unfortunate incident with your elders. Upon your return no one will speak the name Ranma Soatome it will be as if he never came."

"How you do that?" Shampoo looked at the girl suspiciously. The girls emerald eyes glowed an even darker green.

"I have my ways." Shampoo gasped 'she no ordinary girl!'

"Now you agree or I kill you..." she pressed the dagger. Shampoo eyes showed defeat.

"Hai..... Shampoo except."

"Good" the girl purred backing away. The chair disappeared beneath Shampoo dropping her to the floor.

"You tell Shampoo one thing though!" The girl looked down on her bemused.

"What's that?"

"Who you?" The girl laughed a cold-hearted laugh.

"I am the emerald of fire, one of the eternal elite Avalon Du Barback."

The girl faded and suddenly Shampoo was falling.

"HiYaaaa!"

Cologne, was working the lunch hour at the Nekohanten, humming lowly to herself. ' Son-law asked Shampoo out, Oh what a happy day we will finally return to the tribe!' This only made the old bag work happier. If only she knew what this power hungry author had in store for her.(MWhahaha!)

Suddenly in the distant the faint ringing of a high-pitched screech was heard.

"What the...." Mousse stood up from the table he was bussing. :

"HHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

BOOM!!!SPLAT! CRASH! There was a flash of purple and dust flew everywhere as the roof came towering ?" The old bat hopped over to the pile of rubble easily identifying the bomb that came towering in by her high-pitched squeal.

"Shampoo! Oh my dearest Shampoo! " Mousse was currently hugging a rather large beam calling revenge on Saotome for hurting his Shampoo.

"Child what happened?" Cologne ponder helping the now disarrayed Shampoo.

"Great Grand-mother Shampoo been tricked....and defeated..." Shampoo looked down in shame of not fighting back the one called Avalon and instead taking her orders.

"Come child explain.." She helped the young slut over to the remaining chairs knocking Mousse out on the way. "Now, what happened?"

"Well..." Shampoo went on to explain the odd encounter in her own deluded way.

"Then Author Lady call herself, emerald of fire the elite eternal Avalon Du Barback or some hogwash like that." Shampoo said in a huff crossing her arms.

"Grandmother what wrong?" Cologne had gone deadly white her eyes stared wide unblinking with a hint of dread.

"The Eternal Elite??" She said in a hush voice.

"Hai!" Shampoo nodded her empty head "What we DO Grandmother?"

Cologne stared off into space then quickly shook her head, "We do nothing, we go home."

"What!" exclaimed the bubble headed Amazon "Nothing? Great Grand Mother! Shampoo no afraid of wimpy author girl. We fight-"

"Foolish child! You fight her you will die. She is one of the Eternal Elite, The four strongest deities on earth!. If she called herself Emerald of Fire than she is one of the strongest, Are you willing to go against the god blessed Eternal Elite? Risk the wrath of the Gods?! No, child we shall follow her orders. If I had know the Eternal Elite were evolved with Son-in-..er..Ranma, I would never have permitted or helped. We will return home."

Shampoo stared in utter shock, they were giving up? It did not compute in her small head then again most things didn't....

"Besides, She is right you have belittled yourself to that Ranma Saotome. You tried to use your body to get to his heart. An amazon's body is the most sacred thing. You have weakened in your skill, almost forgotten it to play housewife to a male. We will return and you will train. "

With the finale word the dried up monkey left to go pack. Leaving Shampoo to come to terms with the idea of being a failure. When it finally computed in her minute brain ( some 2 hours later) she cried her heart out, and in the dark universe the two emerald eyes laughed at the pathetic girl.

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Author Notes:

Well? What do ya think? I know it's a little bias (hehehehehe evil grin ) But hey! It made me feel better :) If you didn't like it and are one of those poor lost souls who LIKE shampoo and decide to flame me......... Remember YOU started it (wicked smile)

Hai means yes and Bonbori are a weapon Shampoo uses with two colorful balls on a stick in short they look like lollipops... ( Go Figure)

_Now wasn't that an amusing thirteen year old imagineing of how things should be in a fic complete with Mary Sue! Oh the fun! lol _

_Ok folks don't take this one too seriously now. _


End file.
